Party with Panic!
How to Conquer Panic Attacks (For Good.)
I wrote another book! In only seven days. Turns out, once I get obsessed with something, I’m a machine.
It includes WHY panic attacks happen (and why you don’t need to be afraid of them), and shares my simple ‘Party with Panic’ method to get them to f**k off, for good!
You might say that over the last few years, I’ve fallen into a mental health coma or fog (that can happen once you sort your own shit out; you presume the rest of the world is fine too.) My earlier bestselling books document my journeys with both social anxiety and panic
The hashtag ‘panic attacks’ alone has 332,000 posts on Instagram! Similarly, TikTok is drowning in people’s stories, quick fixes, sound healing, educational skits, and funny memes. Making it hard to know where to start.
So, being an expert for over the last decade, I thought I’d rock up and save you all . . . YOU’RE WELCOME. ;)
Joke, I have my own very real insecurities about being irrelevant.
What really happened was. . . something woke me up.
Witnessing panic in real time.
A young woman, on a busy train to Manchester.
She was standing in the aisle. Restless, irritated, flushed, and frantically searching for something in her bag.
The train had been stuck between stations for several minutes, and the carriage was humid from body heat and rain-soaked clothes. The steamed windows made it impossible to see out, and the smell of damp mixed with a Lynx Africa choked the air.
“Could you keep still, please?” someone muttered, as she jostled.
No, she can’t, I thought. . . and I knew why.
I shoved my way past two men to get to her.
“You ok?” I whispered.
She locked eyes with me, and I saw IT. The terror.
“I think it’s a panic attack. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I feel like I’m going to faint!’
The floodgates now open, she furiously tried to blink back tears and sank to the floor.
“I can’t breathe. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Her apologies both broke my heart and made me angry. What had she done that was so shameful?
I sank next to her, drawing the eyes of many others, who tried to pretend they weren’t gawking.
Thing is, I’ve been this woman, and I could see my own fear in her eyes. It made me travel to another time. Back when the kindness of a stranger was everything.
The Transport for London worker, who made me laugh and got me a Mars bar, as I tried to stabilise after yet another attack.
Or the woman at The Tate Modern, with three lively kids in tow, who stayed with me until my boyfriend arrived.
It’s not their faces I remember, or even what they said. It’s how they made me feel. SAFE and ACCEPTED.
Connection is difficult in a world full of distractions, especially when the situation is inconvenient or ‘embarrassing.’ But it’s magic. To take a moment, to say I see you.
***
Turns out, the young woman in front of me now was also on her way to a work party. One that had been making her feel anxious all day.
“I know this feels scary, but I PROMISE you’re ok. I’ve got ya.” I take one of her hands, and she apologises for the sweat. (It’s an impressive amount to be fair!)
"Your brain has been tricked into thinking you’re in danger and you’re reacting to the symptoms.”
“I keep trying to take a deep breath,” she says. “Challenge the thoughts and snap back into the present, but nothing is working.”
“So let’s stop trying so hard. Let’s go with it,” I reply. “Let’s accept it and allow the sensations to flow, while we make you more comfortable.” I sway and do peace signs in a mock hippy style, and she laughs.
“It’ll pass, you’re doing a cracking job. We just have to prove to your subconscious that everything is ok.”
I stay on the floor with her for the duration of the journey, explaining more about the science behind panic attacks and how she doesn’t need to be any more afraid of them than she would be of a big sneeze.
We do some breathing exercises to help engage her parasympathetic nervous system, and I encourage her to carry on as normal. To message her friends and fix her makeup that’d smudged.
Why I wrote the book
First, I felt shocked that she hadn’t been able to get better help from her doctor, and only basic CBT counselling sessions were provided by the NHS, which did nothing to improve her understanding of what panic is and why it happens.
“I can’t afford private therapy.” She tells me. “I did a masterclass for £50 that I saw on Instagram, but it ended up just being this pre-recorded thirty-minute meditation that didn’t really help.”
By the time we parted ways, she was calm, but I was irrationally angry.
There was no need for this woman, or any other individual, to live in fear of a condition that can be handled. No need to pay influencers streaming on a beach in Marbella £££ to overcomplicate something that isn’t complicated.
I went home, and started writing. I documented my method, the one I developed over time, and that changed my life. It’s simple, easy to understand, and (at times) funny.
Rather than give it to my agent, I decided to go it alone. As a rule, the publishing process takes at least two years, and we don’t have time for that sh**.
It also meant I could price it at £3.99, rather than the automatic £12.99 of a paperback.
It’s published TODAY. Click HERE to buy.
A reward for my Substack subscribers
“I like to reward loyalty where I can. So for my Substack readers, I’m offering a free ‘Panic Strategy’ call to everyone who buys a copy of the book in May.
We can chat about your specific triggers, or I can help you tailor the ‘Party’ method to your life.
Just screenshot your receipt and email it to: thatsocialanxietycoach@gmail.com with ‘I BOUGHT YOUR BOOK’ in the header.
Happy Publication Day 🎉
I can tell you as a panic attack sufferer myself that what you did for that lady was incredible & will have made such a huge difference ❤️ We need more of that. That kind of kindness & understanding stays with a person forever. I'm so looking forward to reading this - no doubt to be another invaluable - book of yours later. Came at a time where I could do with reminding myself so thankyou, you amazing lady you xxx